J Hucks

Loss has been a huge part of my life. I have lost close loved ones and I also have lost myself in various situations. We seem to run away from the reality of death being inevitable. When I lost my mom back in 2009, I never thought I would get through. My mom was a independent black woman with a heart of gold. She was my life and it hurt so bad that I would never see her again. She passed away from stomach cancer at the age of 47. I never thought that day would come but it did and it was something I had no control over. After her death, I went through my life lost and confused. She was my rock and I no longer had that rock to lean on. I had to grow up and become the woman I am today.

I look at death in many different ways. One, when I lost myself in my marriage, my friendship circle and my career path, I didn’t know who I was and where I was going. My old self had to die in order for a new me to be rebirthed. I had to work through so many layers of myself in order to be reborn and to create this legacy that is so dear to me. I feel that it’s my duty to continue the legacy of my mother. I have to complete the tasks she was not able to implement.

I feel death is hard to talk about because death is something that can come out of nowhere & change us in ways that we’re not ready to embrace. When my mom died, I was not ready to grow up. I was scared to be myself and live my life without her. When she passed away, she had no will or any estate planning tools to help my family get through her death in a peaceful way. It was a lot on my mental health and I have learned from this experience. As women, we are powerful and we are meant to be leaders. It is our duty to be a leader in our families and secure our legacy for our children and others impacted by our energy. The conversation starts with us and we cannot be afraid to be bold in taking care of our family. Embrace death as a permanent vacation. As much as we plan and get our affairs in order before going on a family vacation, we should embrace doing the same with our death. Love the life you are living now and set your family up for success after your energy is no longer here in a physical sense. All of us want to be remembered and loved so why not start the conversation and be the anchor that will lead your legacy forward.

CEO of Virgo Financial Group. I am a financial & funeral pre-planning consultant for women.